The Top Ten Excuses You Can Use to Justify Not Writing

Hey everyone! Summer vacation is over. The Literary Game is back!

I’ll be getting back to posting serious, content-rich posts geared towards help aspiring writers edit their work, publish their work, and stay sane…tomorrow.

Today, I’m going to have a bit of fun.

We all sometimes slack on our writing. If any other writers try to guilt trip you about it, here’s a list of top ten excuses you can use to justify not writing:

10. I can’t write because my eyes are blurry from staring at rejection letters all night long…and crying.

9. I can’t write because I need an MFA first, because, like, all writers have to have one, right? 

8. I can’t write because I sprained my finger…from typing.

7. I can’t write because there’s a Doctor Who marathon today, my D&D group meets tomorrow, and that old copy of Metroid is coming in the mail in two days.

6. I can’t write because I have to live first. I’ll write in a few years after I’ve amassed enough experience. Ladies, I’m single, I work at Starbucks, and my mother says I’m a snappy dresser. 

5. I can’t write because I like totally love you. Do you know I’m on molly right now? And I love you.

4. My C.O. said I can’t write until after I get off probation.

3. I can’t write until I’m drunk. All writers are drunks, right? I read that in a Bukowski novel, I think. I’m only nineteen, so it’ll just be two years until I can legally become an alcoholic…and a writer.

2. I can’t write until I get famous. What’s the point when the advances are so small? The plan is to go viral first by rapping NWA songs in my tighty whities and uploading them to YouTube. I swear I’ll start writing after Dr. Dre gives me daps. 

1. I can’t write until I get good, which can’t happen until I get my work edited by this dude who runs a blog on WordPress.